he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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