'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
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You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I love you.
Bad choice
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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