member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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