She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
