I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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