is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
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