Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
