i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
