Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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