i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The adults are the big ones right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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