I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
