coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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