I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my sisters under your porch take her home
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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