i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
