I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"