I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
