My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
