evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
