Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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