and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize