WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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