we have pet lesbian snakes
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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