There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
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Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.