yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have fence marks all over my body
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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