Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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