I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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