I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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