I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
