She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
