I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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