But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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