I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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