I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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