Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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