LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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