I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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