'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
