You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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