yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
