Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you traded sex for a burrito?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
