lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
