Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Your penis caused this!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize