Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
