Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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