I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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