why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
