I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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