just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
