When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.