my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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