dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low