She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My ATM looks so different sober.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Randomize
