Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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