do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
