so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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