imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This is my gift to your gina
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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