IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
