Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
