hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well I just put wine in my tea
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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